I can’t afford to be a bridesmaid

Cynthia Kaan

“Will you be my bridesmaid?!?” After the shrieks of excitement fade, a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach grows as you realize you don’t have the finances to participate as you feel you should. Do you decline altogether? 

  1. As the bridesmaid, be honest in your communication. Let the bride know you would love to be part of her special day, but share your concerns about finances.
  2. As the bride, be honest about your expectations and go from there. If you know you’re about to plan an expensive, involved day – don’t downplay that. And don’t express hurt or disappointment if a friend has to decline. To paraphrase an old movie quote, “It’s not personal, it’s financial.”
  3. Perhaps there are other ways of participating in the wedding that aren’t quite as financially involved. What about doing the reading, teaming up to tackle any planning aspects the bride isn’t too excited about, or making phone calls to confirm details?
  4. Pray together. Ask God to find a way for both of you to appreciate and be there for each other on the big day and beyond.

Remember – a wedding is the entrance to the sacrament of marriage. Having friends you can walk that journey with is beyond priceless – whether or not they can physically stand next to you the day you take your vows.